Banish the Imposter: 5 Ways to transform Self-Doubt into Self-Trust

Discover the secrets to crushing self-doubt and owning your successes!

Imposter Syndrome can be a crippling experience for many solo self-employed women especially as your business grows and you become a small enterprise leader. Despite the external evidence of your success – your growing business – you might still feel your accomplishments are undeserved and inexplicably anticipate discovery as a “fraud.”
In this post I want to help you understand what might be going on for you and suggest ways you might banish, or at the very least quiet, your Imposter so that your business doesn’t suffer.

UNDERSTANDING IMPOSTER SYNDROME

Let’s start with the basics – what is it? Imposter Syndrome is pattern of thought that depends on you buying into these 3 stories:

1. Self-doubt: That erosive and persistent feeling of inadequacy that may be underpinned by your belief that your achievements are undeserved.
2. Dumb luck: That all good things come to you through luck, good timing, or the wave of some other magic wand – obviously, nothing to do with your talent, skill or hard work.
3. Fear of being “found out!”: Despite clear evidence of your success, you are convinced and wholly expect to be exposed as a “fraud,” entirely incompetent.

By oversimplifying your experience of Imposter Syndrome, ignoring or downplaying the impact, smothering it in affirmations and mantras, deeming it an unhelpful personal flaw or weakness, you’re exacerbating the impact and failing to address the underpinning psychological patterns or perhaps external factors that may be influencing a sense of inadequacy or fraudulence.

IMPACT OF IMPOSTER SYNDROME

Let me put it into context for you and illustrate how Imposter Syndrome may manifest in your growing business:

Decisive Action
Let’s say you have a big decision to make, perhaps you’re considering expanding your services, which means altering your business model or even making a significant investment. How does making that decision feel for you? If you’re telling yourself “I’m a fraud,” and “If I make the wrong choice, everyone will see that I’m not capable of running this business. I don’t deserve this position; I’m just pretending to be a leader,” you may be experiencing Imposter Syndrome.

Internally, you might find yourself overanalysing every possible outcome, delaying the decision, and constantly seeking validation and reassurance from others before making that big move. The fear of making the wrong choice may be paralysing! Externally, this stalling could stunt the growth of your business and missing opportunities. Internally, that constant anxiety and stress is pushing you toward burnout and making you less effective and more prone to mistakes. You’re no good to your business if you’re burnt out.

Your Team
Imagine you need to address a recurring issue with a team member, perhaps they’re consistently missing deadlines or dismissing your project guidelines. You know this conversation is necessary, but it feels deeply uncomfortable. Internally, if you’re telling yourself stories like “I got lucky” and “I don’t deserve the respect of my team; I just got lucky to be in this position. If I enforce boundaries or give feedback, they will see how unqualified I really am,” – will you have that conversation at all?

I imagine you’re hesitating to schedule the meeting, redrafting that feedback a million times over without sending it, and I bet you’ve might have redone her work to fit the project guidelines. Externally, this avoidance is creating confusion and inefficiency in your team. The lack of clear guidance and accountability will affect their productivity, and you’re going to be overworked and feeling stressed. This thought pattern is diminishing your effectiveness as a leader and undermining your health.

Your Clients
Let’s say you’ve bagged a meeting with a potential high-profile client. You’ve prepared a clear and comprehensive proposal, but as the meeting approaches, that anxiety sets in. Internally, you think, “I can’t do this,” believing you’re not capable of meeting the client’s expectations. Telling yourself: “I’m not capable of delivering what the client needs. If I charge too much or propose new ideas, they will realise I’m not good enough and leave.”

Let’s say you don’t cancel the meeting, when you do get there, you downplay your accomplishments, apologise excessively, and offer unnecessary, unplanned discounts. Or perhaps you avoid pitching your risky ideas and stick strictly to the script to avoid potential criticism. Externally, this lack of confidence is telling your client you don’t trust yourself and they will begin doubting your abilities too! If it doesn’t, the unnecessary discounts will eat into your profit margin and your reluctance to present new ideas means you might miss out on the opportunity to showcase your expertise.

Each of these examples demonstrate how your thought patterns have the power to undermine your business growth.

IT IS NORMAL!

You are not alone!

Over three-quarters of business owners in the UK report having felt like an imposter at some point. Studies show that 53% of women experience Imposter Syndrome, compared to 38% of men. It is such a common experience, especially among those of us who constantly push the boundaries in pursuit of something different.

Of course, every time you try something new, it’s natural to feel a degree of fear. Your brain is wired to keep things predictable and safe, so everything new can feel like a risk. But your brain is that slightly neurotic, well-meaning friend who often overreacts. Recognising the difference between your brain’s natural panic response and the whispers of your intuition will help you to realistically assess the risk of stepping outside of your comfort zone.

It is important to recognise there may be external influences at play. We all grow up with a degree of conditioning. Conditioning is where we internalise information (like the expectations of others or feedback we receive from others) and accept it as an unconscious rule. A great example is women who have consistently been praised for being helpful and accommodating as “good little girls.” As an adult, this experience may have you prioritising the needs of others over your own, finding it difficult to set boundaries and chasing external validation.

The reality is that we all experience some degree of Imposter Syndrome and without recognising the impact, validating your experience of it and untangling the underpinning beliefs you’re unlikely to banish your imposter.

SIMPLE BUT NOT EASY

So how do you banish your imposter?

Like all things human, we each have a unique experience of ‘Imposter Syndrome,’ so there isn’t a one-and-done-fix-all I can suggest or recommend. Instead, I’ll share 5 things we might focus on if we were working together.

RENAME

Let’s start with the name. “Syndrome” is usually something medical, an illness that you suffer from and have no choice or control over. Personally, I find the name “Imposter Syndrome” incredibly problematic. Syndrome suggests that there is something wrong with you, something you don’t have control over, something you may be suffering from. Instead, I want you to think of it as a voice, a voice that you need to listen to, validate, and then challenge. A voice that you can quiet because you have control of volume button.

MEANING

What does ‘Imposter Syndrome’ mean to you? If it were a voice, what is your experience of that voice, what does it tell you about yourself and how does it influence your choices? Getting to know and understanding your unique experience of ‘Imposter Syndrome’ will help us explore your unique way of banishing your Imposter! No amount of affirmations or mantras will change the underpinning patterns that fuel your feelings of inadequacy.

REFRAMING

Cognitive restructuring or reframing is technique I would use to help you reconstruct the story that Imposter may be telling yourself. For example, “I am a fraud,” might become “I feel like a fraud right now.” Making the distinction means that it feels temporary rather than somehow attached to your identity. Or “I got lucky,” might become “I worked hard and earned this.” The reframe acknowledges your competence. Perhaps “I can’t do this” could become “I’m learning and growing” shifting your perspective on how you view your abilities and achievements.

RECOGNITION

You don’t know me very well if I haven’t made you feel awkward by asking: “And how will you celebrate your success?” When you make a conscious and intentional effort to acknowledge your progress and success, you tap into your brain’s reward system and naturally shift to a more helpful pattern of thinking. The fact is, we are prone to weight negative information as vastly more important than positive, so document your successes. Intentionally rewire your brain by focusing on what you’ve done well. Celebrate your victories, no matter how small, build a habit of recognising and appreciating your achievements!

FAILURE AND F**K UPS

I want you to consider failure and f**k ups as do-overs – an opportunity to try again – within reason, sometimes our failures and f**k ups are meant to show us opportunities we haven’t considered.

Set expectations of success AND failure! Preplan how you’ll respond to failure, so that it isn’t a terrifying unknown prospect that undermines your choices. AND preplan celebrating your progress and success, centre your attention on the emotion of your celebration. Anticipating and appreciating failure as part of your growth process will significantly reduce your fear of making mistakes and help you take bolder action.

When we work together, I would personalise these strategies to fit your unique experience of Imposter Syndrome and the impact it was having on your business. By understanding your specific experiences, I can tailor our sessions to provide the most effective support and guidance. Together, we can work on building your confidence, celebrating your achievements, and turning setbacks into opportunities for growth.

IMPORTANT MESSAGE

It is important to recognise that “Imposter Syndrome” is a label, which can be helpful shorthand for describing a group of thoughts, feelings, and behaviours. However, labels can be reductive and oversimplify your unique and complex experience. Unless you are diagnosed by a qualified professional, labels can be inaccurate and potentially harmful. Attaching labels to your identity can be especially problematic, leading you to self-perpetuating and predictive narratives like, “I have Imposter therefore I cannot…” Instead of labelling, try to describe and validate your unique thoughts, feelings and experiences. Rather than saying “I am have Imposter Syndrome,” try sentences like “sometimes I feel like a fraud.” Recognising your unique thoughts, feelings, and behaviours without using labels will give you a more nuanced and accurate understanding of your experiences.