Stop letting perfectionism undermine your progress and turn setbacks into opportunity.
Perfectionism is a double-edged sword. On one hand it drives high standards and that relentless pursuit of excellence. On the other, it can create crippling anxiety, procrastination, and will certainly put you on a fast track to burnout. As you transition from self-employment to small enterprise leader, understanding and managing perfectionism will become crucial to maintaining your health and ensuring the success of your business. In this article, I’ll explore perfectionism and the ripple effect it may be having on your business growth, your team, and your client relationships. I’ll suggest practical strategies you can implement immediately to help you redefine failure.
What is Perfectionism Really?
We must avoid dismissing perfectionism as simply a desire to do well. Perfectionism is a personality trait, an intrinsic often unconscious part of you that is most likely activated when you feel unsure of yourself, stressed out or pushed outside of your comfort zone. You might imagine it as a predefined pattern your brain plays out to make itself feel safe when things feel unpredictable. The difficulty is that the pattern is underpinned by a handful of unehlpful beliefs and habits that might include:
- Excessively High Standards: “This project has to be flawless, or it’s not worth submitting.”
- Self-Criticism: “I can’t believe I made that mistake; I’m not good enough.”
- Fear of Failure: “If I mess this up, everyone will think I’m incompetent, so maybe I shouldn’t even try.”
- Comparison: “What will they think of me if I don’t get this exactly right? They’ll probably lose respect for me.”
- All-or-Nothing Thinking: “If I can’t do it perfectly, then I am a complete failure.”
- Overemphasis on Results: “I need to achieve this goal to prove I’m successful; the process doesn’t matter if the result isn’t perfect.”
It is important to remember that perfectionism can be both helpful and unhelpful. Howver, the unhelpful thoughts, feelings and behaviours attached to perfectionism can create a self-perpetuating cycle that reinforces perfectionism and sets you on a fast track for burnout! For example: the fear of failure (a feeling) can lead you to procrastinate (a behaviour), which then prompts self-criticism (a thought) when tasks are not completed – which may mean you aren’t meeting those ultra-high standards you set yourself, you won’t get the validation you’re craving, the obvious conclusion is that you are probably failing, the solution to which may be to try harder, stress more and continue through the cycle.
Instead, healthy striving involves setting high but realistic and attainable standards, a recognition that mistakes happen and an mindset that allows for failure to be an opportunity for growth not a reason for punishment. Taking this approach isn’t always easy or comfortable.
The Ripple Effect of Perfectionism
As a solo self-employed woman becoming a small enterprise leader, the helpful aspects of your perfectionism may fuel your ambition, your strong work ethic, your consistency, your attention to detail and may very well be the reason you exceed your customer’s expectations. Your perfectionism may also be responsible for the overthinking, risk aversion and procrastination over big decisions, the hours you spend correcting inconsequential mistakes that keep you from meeting your basic needs that prevent you burning out. Your perfectionism is possibly responsible for your micromanagement, self-criticism and the panic that rises when you’re faced with change!
We think we’re better at hiding these uncomfortable experiences than we actualy are and often underestimate their unconscious impact and influence they may have on those around us – here are 2 examples of how your perfectionism may be eroding your wellbeing and your team’s productivity.
Sarah’s perfectionism was undermining her health.
Sarah, a dedicated and ambitious entrepreneur contacted me because she felt she was procrastinating and unable to manage her stress levels. Sarah is not her real name but her experience perfectly illustrates how we tackled her perfectionism.
Sarah’s Challenge:
Sarah often pushed herself to work late into the night, believing that every aspect of her business needed her personal touch. She spent excessive hours perfecting her business plans and marketing strategies, neglecting her personal wellbeing and social life. The fear of producing anything less than flawless consumed her, causing her to procrastinate and creating stress. This constant pressure was making it difficult for her to maintain her energy and creativity.
SARAH’s Outcome:
Sarah experienced a huge change in her approach to her personal and professional life. By acknowledgine her unrealistic self-imposed expectations she was able to reduce the constant pressure she felt. She began delegating some of her tasks, earning the trust of her team. Setting more realistic goals ensured she was able to refocus on strategic growth. Her focus on balance meant she felt more present, positive and productive.
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MY Approach:
We started by exploring Sarah’s unique experience, the thoughts and feelings that underpinned the procrastination she identified as problematic. Over our 6 calls she acknowledged how quickly her business had grown. She noticed that her exceptionally high standards were based around this speedy success and her self imposed expectations to consistently achieve at that same speed. We explored the self-perpetuating cycle that then followed and fuelled her stress. She noticed a sense of looming failure. She compared herself to others in her field that were several years ahead of her and cruelly criticised herself when she didn’t get the results she was chasing.
Together we developed practical strategies to manage her perceived procrastination and reprioritise her wellbeing reducing her stress levels. We reframed her self-talk, realigned her expectations to her business vision and set healthier markers of progress and success.
Emma’s perfectionism was turning her into a micromanager!
Despite her success as a solo self-employed woman, Emma found it difficult taking on her new team. She contacted me because she thought she might be on a path to burnout. Emma is not her real name but the way we worked together might shed some light on your experiences.
EMMA’s Challenge:
Emma found if challenging to let go of control and trust her new employees to take on high priority responsibilities. This need to oversee every detail was stifling her team’s creativity and autonomy, leading to her frustration and their decreased job satisfaction. Emma’s perfectionism was creating a high-pressure environment that was perpetuating a cycle of stress and low motivation in her employees. She was worried that her standards may be contributing to a high turnover rate.
EMMA’S Outcome:
Over the period we worked together, Emma learnt to delegate building trust, autonomy and integrity in her team. The team became more engaged and productive creating a valuable collaborative and innovative environment. Emma and I continue to work together developing the culture of her business.
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MY Approach:
When Emma began to understand her unrealistically high standards coupled with her fear of failure was manifesting as micromanagement where she felt the need to oversee every detail of her employee’s work believing that only she could ensure the highest standards could be met. She recognised how this was creating unnecessary levels of stress for her and stifling her employee’s trust in her and their own autonomy.
We worked on practical strategies to help Emma set and clearly communicate realistic and attainable standards for herself and the team. Emma began delegating small, less critical projects to her team earning their trust and enabling her to build trust in them. We developed clear progress reporting processes and intentional practices around recognition and reward.
What Can You Do About It?
I don’t want to encourage a negative narrative around perfectionism, instead remember there are helpful and unhelpful aspects to your perfectionism. If you think your perfectionism is tripping you up or slowing you down, you could explore repurposing your perfectionism. It is crucial you begin by addressing the underlying beliefs and intentionally develop more helpful thinking patterns and coping strategies – I would recommend a Coach to hold your and through what may be a tough and confronting process. I use behavioural change coaching, neuroscience and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) in my practice with solo self-employed women becoming small enterprise leaders. I am also a Stress Management and Burnout Prevention expert – here is where I would start if we worked together:
Talk to your perfectionismt; if you hear it saying “I have to do this perfectly,” validate that need and define your own intentions: “Yes, I know you want this done perfectly, and I’m going to do it well enough.”
Release the tension of that voice. Picture the sentence as a balloon, the letters slightly overfilled with helium, feel the texture of the string in your hand and the pull as it strains toward the sky – when you’re ready, let the sentence float away.
When you deny, repress or avoid your emotions you exacerbate your experience of them. Instead, when you feel your perfectionism rising, validate your experience: “I notice I’m feeling anxious about this task, it’s normal to feel stressed ahead of a deadline.” Redirect your attention to your breath and allow the anxiety to subside. You could try Box Breathing it was developed for high-pressure situations.
Your perfectionism showing up is a good indication you’re doing something you care about.
Try to take a step back and think about what specifically is important to you about the thing you’re doing that you care about – is it that you care about your client? Could it be promptness, integrity, or innovation?
Your goal isn’t perfection; your goal is the thing you care about – shift your focus from achieving perfection to aligning your actions with what truly matters to you.
failure: First Attempt In Learning
In a recent corporate workshop I explained that reconsidering how you view failure is a crucial step to repurposing perfectionism. Failure means anything that didn’t work out the way you expected it to work out. Here’s how you might begin relearning how to respond to failure:
- Change your Language: Reframe the language you use around failure. Replace words like “crisis” and “catastrophe” with “challenge” and “opportunity.”
- Pause and Accept: When faced with failure, pause and accept your feelings rather than avoiding or suppressing them. This reduces an emotional loop of negativity.
- Your Values: Identify what is meaningful to you about the process that led to failure, explore what you have learnt and how you might apply this knowledge elsewhere. What went well and what might you do better next time?
- Perspective: Take some time to recognise and appreciate what is in your control, what you may only have influence over, and what you cannot affect in any way.
IMPORTANT: PLEASE READ
It is important to recognise that perfectionism is a label that can help describe a group of thoughts, feelings, and behaviours. However, labels can be reductive and oversimplify your unique and complex experience. Unless diagnosed by a qualified professional, labels can be inaccurate and potentially harmful. Attaching labels to your identity can lead to self-perpetuating and predictive narratives like “I am a perfectionist.” Instead of labelling, try to describe and validate your unique thoughts, feelings, and experiences. Rather than saying “I am a perfectionist,” try saying, “I have high standards and sometimes I struggle with self-criticism.” Recognising your unique thoughts, feelings, and behaviours without using labels will give you a more nuanced and accurate understanding of your experiences.
If you’d like to repurpose your perfectionism with my help, apply for a free Strategy Call and together we’ll agree how I might best support you.
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